My Struggle......

Sitting in my bed all alone in the dark...

Chalking a plan to make a mark....

Nothing to lose but everything to gain...

To win the world you have to feel the pain...

When nobody trusted and the rest just rushed...

holding onto my heart with my dreams crushed...

I fell on my knees as the rains came down....

bruised was my life with my eyes still on the crown.....

Cheated i felt when no-one cared...

To GOD were all my sorrows shared...

You are good but were sorry they said as they blinked

my treasure lost as the boat of my dreams sinked.....

In my memories that night will never fade...

Wiping my tears and the decision i made...

I knew i would make it big someday....

I prayed all night to show me the way....

Somewhere within a voice urged to fight...

The world can go wrong but you better stay right....

Keep on doing what you do the best....

Sing your prayers and forget the rest...

I went on and did what i loved the most...

finally I my sailed my ship to the coast...

i could see my dreams within reach....

i found my treasure as i relished the beach.....

My dreams realized and everything seemed fine...

the world knew that the time was finally mine...

The one single moment on the podium when the crowd cheers....

Beleive me its worth the trouble and the...... tears.....

Oh!....i lived my dreams but there's yet a secret untold...

Sweet GOD sent me an angel........on a night very cold...

Will i ever see you again........

oh! damn morning again need a while before finally waking
telling myself am over her obviously still faking.......
last night she was as pretty as she's ever been
that caring smile and her tunic green.....

oh no not again as i got hold of myself.....


as the night grew blue she went red....
honestly this time i knew i was surely dead...
she showed me the way when i was confused...
made me laugh when everything's a mess, i was amused......


everything so sweet and our love so strong.......
i don't know how but somewhere we jus went wrong....
maybe i screwed up...u know it sometimes am so lame....
baby pls...! she told me you guys are all the same.....


her eyes filled up as we parted ways....
i cry thinking of her on my lonely days.........
don't you worry you'll soon find a date........
oh so sweet of her ...i was amazed at my fate......

finally i woke up feigning everything is fine.......
gathered courage as i drew the line ........
thinking about the angel i just lost.....
pretending am over her at any cost.......!!

Your eyes says it all Mom.............................!

"Goodbye Mom I’ll be late"....I screamed as I slammed the door behind me . I hopped  past the front stairs making my way out of the house through the narrow pathway that cut the lawn. Words of Mom still ringing in my head she always had something to say when I left, always too concerned about me, I get one those short speeches every time I move past that door. Behind my back I knew 'mumma' would still be standing there in her bedroom window waving at me, her curious eyes trying to meet mine.  I didn’t want to turn around and look-up but reluctantly I did......... just to reassure if I was right, and well  she was still there  "hmm......... boy your never wrong "  I muttered to myself as I smiled and waved back .....i could clearly see the serenity of her face trying desperately to hide the anxiety but it just spilled out. I always wondered why did she worried about me so much...?.  The ever smiling face of my Mom gave into frightened uneasy look as if every morning I was marching my way out to a war and would never turn back in the evening. I gave back a reassuring smile and I marched on...............!!

                               But I never seize to love all her worries and the way she still thinks of me as her cute little 7 year old................it may seem quaint to others but to me ...it feels like true love ........and it makes feel so special....it makes me feel like a sweet little child ......and i just love  the way she still pampers me ......as a kid when i used to play on the slides in the park tumbling my way down i can always see her open arms waiting for me ...desperate to catch me ....!!!...Dont you remember these small things your 'Mumma' must be doing for you ......?..but hey we never even appreciate right..??.....As i try to recollect the wonder years of my life ..i can always see my mom by my side ....she's always been there and sometimes i wonder ....i see a glimpse of God in her ..!!........I can clearly remember the day when i lost my way in a crowded Indian bazaar ......i was  looking for my mom in a sea of people ...restlessly scanning unknown faces just to get a glimpse....of my world my mom but i just couldn't find her .....tears running down my face but i didn't care .....all i wanted was my 'world' back....i big crowd gathered trying to console a little five year old kid crying for his mom .....but still i went on crying ...all i wanted was my Mom ...and when i finally found her ..she was there standing for me ...even she was crying.... as i ran to her as fast as i could ....and i can say i found my heaven in her embrace ....!!! .And  today when i lay in the lawn ....and i know ......she loves me more than that............it feels all these years ......as if its been the best years of my life ....all our hardships .....the sad moments .......the heartbreak losses ..........its like nothing............every morning when i look in to her eyes .....it says it all ...!!...just the look of it ........and she's always been here with me fighting back in bad times .....and her unforgettable sweet smile in times when it was all good.............

Sometimes i wonder why Moms are so sweet....................

and i don't know how can i repay back all the things my 'Mumma' has done for me .............but i can say there'll be a day ......

Sweet summer of 99'

As a sweet little boy when i dream at night,
I see clear- blue skies and a flying kite,
The world sweet again and the ocean green,
I realise i am no longer stupid seventeen,
In my dreams i still remain a child,
when realities a cm and i dream a mile,
comes back the innocence faded with years,
now am seven again and got no fears,
Looking back to the days under the Ibiza sun,
when i dribbled and scored gosh it was fun..!!,
it was autumn i remember it was Spain,
Now i regret the years i wasted in vain,
I never saw you since that windy day,
  strangely,t'was raining in the month of may,
always wishing you to be here with me,
but the doors are locked and ive lost the key,
but no worries dear,
Ive got memories to keep you alive,
suddenly i woke up and gosh it was morning and 'five',
wherever you are just know that i loved you,
you never said it but i know you did too....!!!!!

My first post ......!!!

Heya ........

This is my first real post .......i mean ive never blogged before .......and am pretty much excited about it ......and well yes first post are meant to be crap rite..??

.....thanks Spencer........

okay ...goin on about it ........am 17 ....and i have this weird liking to know people from different places in the world.............. places that probably ive never given  a serious thought ......and places ive not even heard about ..........but its kinda cool.......imagine mailing a girl from Chile ...commenting on  the cup cakes she just made ..........or picture this ...Steven from England .......glad he scored two goals for his college team in the local league ...........guys its really fun .........and well this is my way to enjoy the so called "world wide web".................!!!!!

and yah bit about me .......am 17 ..... and ive been in and out of love all my life ........i dont know.......................... love is very confusing you never know where it takes you ...........but anyways am sure of one thing .......it feels great ......to be in love ...........to know someone cares for you ......to be loved .........!!!

am currently pursuing engineering ...which literally is getting screwed every minute .........but am kinda enjoyin it .....its nice to work hard and have a shitty day .......and then coming home all tired and messed up just to know it has'nt ended just yet .......and you somehow manage a couple more hours of it ..........screeching and pulling yourself through it ............but let me tell you at the end of it............... it feels like heaven ......!!!!!!!!........its feels like you've really achieved something......i know it sounds lame .....but really ........you kind of feel proud about yourself ......and in the end that feeling of some accomplishment is really worth all the things that it puts you through ..........and somehow it makes your world even more sweeter i guess.........maybe you'll figure it out yourself .....

 and yah final words ..........am really not that slick with words ....they betray me usually ........!!!

lol...........

Ps....1st post are meant to be crap rite....??

(thanks Spencer)